First, I'm going to apologize (because that's what I do); I usually like to be a little more optimistic than I think this post is going to sound. But it's Monday and life is again real, and these florescent lights are a little more irritating than usual.
One of the most boring things to me is when writers write about what just happened on TV. There was a MAJOR plot twist in The Good Wife! Somebody got annihilated on Game of Thrones! Robin Williams voices the genie AND the merchant at the beginning of Aladdin! (Just go with it.) What does it meeeeeaaannn?
Who is reading this shit? (Probably a lot of people, hence the articles' existence and their many accompanying advertisements...)
I don't particularly care about spoilers, though I do think it's odd that some people seem to need so strongly to blab. But I'm not really the kind of reader/watcher who gets upset knowing the basic plot points or even 'major' twists (I enjoyed Titanic just fine, thank you); and at least as far as mainstream TV is concerned, you can see a lot of these things from miles away. Like the Chekhov rule, when a gun is introduced to the story you can bet your ass it's getting fired. But I'm probably in the minority here; I can certainly understand people not wanting details given away.
So if you didn't watch the show, there's absolutely no reason to read the recap and plenty of reasons to avoid it. If you did watch the show, there's still no particular reason to read the recap. Other than to be told what it all meant, what it could have possibly meant, who did it, why did they do it, who else might have done it, where do we go from here, what was the setup, what's the fallout...these are all things the talented writers who created these shows are already doing for you, and will continue to do for you as you watch their story unfold. I get the desire to talk about it all, but it's not a need (just a very strong desire to not feel so lonely in this world...sorry, sorry that's the existential psychiatrist in me).
Most shows that make it to the popularity of things like Game of Thrones/Mad Men/The Good Wife/True Detective/whatever are there because, on some level, they are great and created by talented people. You should be damn sure that these talented people usually know how to make all things unfold with time (unless it's Lost and everybody's just making up nonsense), and eventually they make you realize that what happens isn't nearly as fun or important as why something happens and why the characters involved are so interesting.
I think this is the right moment to say what anyone reading this likely already knows: I'm way more of a reader than a watcher. So feel free to tell me that I'm perfectly capable of ignoring articles I find boring. You are correct. But should I have to? I don't know exactly what it says about our silly First World that two of the four main-slot articles on today's theatlantic.com are about TV shows, but I don't think it's entirely good. I know I can swim to safer Internet waters, but sometimes the thought of doing that is like standing in the supermarket's soup aisle confronted by a thousand different versions of tomato soup, and I haven't even looked at other kinds of soups and already I just want a fucking blanket and a pacifier...
Actually, I think I'm going to read outside. This has been Melvin Ralsh's florescent Monday morning; 'til next time, folks!
14 April 2014
01 April 2014
I Have a Question
This is kind of an overly general question, the type I'm not usually too fond of, but I do wonder about some stuff...
When I was in college and liked writing music reviews a whole lot more than I do now, I had trouble shaking a bad habit of checking out other reviews of the same album to see where my opinion landed in the vast nothingness of music reviews. If I didn't like an album, I needed to double-check that other folks didn't like it either to make sure I wasn't an idiot, and this was way too easy to do. YouTube didn't even exist, and there weren't nearly as many blogs n stuff, but there was already an overload of opinions out there to Google. I could not stop doing this, but I can understand being younger, insecure, and not very confident about my musical taste/opinions. There were even a couple times I softened a review based, at least a little, on the fact that a bunch of 'professional' people had liked something I didn't. That's pretty hard to understand now.
So does the overabundance of Opinions out there mostly serve to feed our insecurities?
Are people actually more Opinionated now than ever before, or does it just feel that way because I spend a shitload of time on the internet, where Opinion is king?
Sometimes I get the feeling there are folks who get outraged by stuff only because a lot of other people got outraged by it; maybe this is no different than Time Before Internet, but it sure as hell seems to happen a whole lot faster and in larger quantities. Then it goes away and things move on more or less the same, but LO, we have ENTERTAINED ourselves. And probably somebody made a buck or two off it.
I have a question.
12 February 2014
Boy child grows up
Strange happenings are afoot. My body is changing! Between the ages of 27-30 I think I grew at least an inch. My BoyChild brain is evolving, too.
Every once in a while I like to binge on YouTube comments, which can sometimes be serene and mesmerizing. I know this sounds odd. But I get all giddy imagining a commenter listening to a song, having a moment, one so intense it can't possibly be contained, and which Must be shared with the world OR ELSE. Most of 'em are like those folks at live shows who can't stand the deafening silence in their own brains between songs and must shout WOO. So you get really deep shit sometimes, like these ones from Caribou's 'Niobe:'
To implement the vibrations! Man, what is it like to so powerfully need to post that? Probably a lot of people are lonely. But I think the strongest reason so many people post this stuff--stuff that not many are likely to read, and those that do read either already agree with you or hate you/themselves and are only there to troll; there's rarely a fertile middle ground where discussion and actual learning thrive--the reason there's so much of it is that it's incredibly easy to do. You go tap beep boop (like I'm, um, doing right now), click that satisfying Publish button, then smile at your own perceived wit/intelligence. Mmmmm, feels good.
It is so easy to find Anything, and equally easy to tell everyone (or at least feel like you're telling everyone; it's anyone's guess as to who's actually listening) how you feel about it. I don't think this is entirely good. Beck, who just released a great album, went to chat with the Boiling Bob over at NPR and had this to say:
"The rise of internet and all the blogs and the sort of internet criticism, I think it's affected a lot of musicians. There's sort of this critical voice in their head, like somebody's pointed a camera or a mirror at you, and you're a little more self-conscious. I feel like I've felt it in music over the last, you know, 10 or 12 years. When I started out, you were just throwing stuff out there; you had no idea what people thought. There would be a couple of record reviews, but you really were completely ignorant and unaware of what people actually thought. Unless you were at a show — you know, you could play a song and people didn't like it. That happened plenty of times."
Imagine that! Hearing something played live for the first time. Sure, you could boo the guy/gal, but as a human that's a little harder to do right to someone's face. You don't generally have somebody like EarlKrempe (see above) standing next to you on stage, arms folded, saying, "Did not like."
But see, I'm beginning to feel like the quintessential Olderish-Person-Who-Looks-Down-On-Younger-Generations. This is also not good. Because, clearly, not every musical appreciator is like that. YouTube-comments-as-societal-blueprint isn't exactly validated research. But what I do know is that music is laughably easy to find for free, chew for a bit, skip that song you don't like, write about how it wasn't what you wanted, pretend like you know exactly what the artist was trying to achieve, then spit on the floor having digested very little.
One of my band-mates in a new song talks about how instant evaluation is starting to crush his enjoyment of different types of art, and I could not agree more. It seems simple to just ignore it all, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to do as more and more folks use the Internet as a way of finding their own voice. Remember in high school how it kind of sucked and made you feel empty when everybody started loving that band you'd been following for forever? It's similar to the feeling you get when somebody tells you whatever book or movie they just devoured was the best thing ever. Your brain is instantly setup to have its expectations swung at and missed, because no one thing is the best thing ever, which transitions nicely into my next thought:
The overabundance of particular types of media might be leading a certain percentage of the population to believe that their lives aren't as worthwhile if they are not cinematic enough**, if certain moments aren't "the best thing ever." It makes people take fewer risks and retreat into what they already know they'll enjoy or, worse, what they know everybody else already enjoys. And because everybody's so keen on expressing why they love or hate something, there's all this media catering to extreme points of view, which this feller thinks tends to drown out that fertile middle ground where you can actually learn something.
Here's some quick examples: Bad Internet [note: please don't read much of this] vs. Good Internet [please read all of this]
So, if you're like me you're probably wondering what the hell to do. Unfortunately, if you know me at all you probably know I'm not entirely sure. All I can do is point you in the direction of folks I've enjoyed and who've made me think about how to handle things that make me uncomfortable. On the surface, these quotes don't directly pertain to media consumption, but I think they offer a path away from extreme points of view (and thus away from a lot of bad media), and I often find myself returning to them:
"Try to learn to let what is unfair teach you. What is unfair can be a stern but invaluable teacher."
~David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
"To know one's own state is not a simple matter. One cannot look directly at one's own face with one's own eyes, for example. One has no choice but to look at one's reflection in the mirror. Through experience, we come to believe that the image is correct, but that is all."
~Haruki Murakami, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle
"Don't get set into one form; adapt it and build your own, and let it grow; be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless--like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle; you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend."
~Bruce Lee
Some of the things I take away from those quotes are: Don't be afraid to feel stupid, and be wary of folks pushing agendas that claim to have all the answers; Look for stuff that feels genuine to you (and remember that authenticity and originality don't necessarily go hand-in-hand, and that's OK); Little things are infinitely important.
And for the sake of all that is holy to you, please don't you dare listen to music via YouTube at anything less than 480p.
_________________________________________________________________________________
**This is something I want to think about a lot more in another post, and one thing that comes to mind is how often you'll hear the same song used across different movies/TV shows/commericials to generate emotion in a given scene, and then when something similar to that scene happens in your real life, but you don't have the music to go along with it, it might not have as strong an impact on you.
Every once in a while I like to binge on YouTube comments, which can sometimes be serene and mesmerizing. I know this sounds odd. But I get all giddy imagining a commenter listening to a song, having a moment, one so intense it can't possibly be contained, and which Must be shared with the world OR ELSE. Most of 'em are like those folks at live shows who can't stand the deafening silence in their own brains between songs and must shout WOO. So you get really deep shit sometimes, like these ones from Caribou's 'Niobe:'
did not like
my body feel like
fucking tripping but my head is still oke
music is very much
like... math, actually. it is a language and has a lot of math in it. it is a
truly special and difficult art.
its unmistakable,
these guys are just musically gifted. I think they use mathematical equations
to implement the vibrations...and they align very well with my taste. Keep
steady on this path gentlemen it will suit you well.
To implement the vibrations! Man, what is it like to so powerfully need to post that? Probably a lot of people are lonely. But I think the strongest reason so many people post this stuff--stuff that not many are likely to read, and those that do read either already agree with you or hate you/themselves and are only there to troll; there's rarely a fertile middle ground where discussion and actual learning thrive--the reason there's so much of it is that it's incredibly easy to do. You go tap beep boop (like I'm, um, doing right now), click that satisfying Publish button, then smile at your own perceived wit/intelligence. Mmmmm, feels good.
It is so easy to find Anything, and equally easy to tell everyone (or at least feel like you're telling everyone; it's anyone's guess as to who's actually listening) how you feel about it. I don't think this is entirely good. Beck, who just released a great album, went to chat with the Boiling Bob over at NPR and had this to say:
"The rise of internet and all the blogs and the sort of internet criticism, I think it's affected a lot of musicians. There's sort of this critical voice in their head, like somebody's pointed a camera or a mirror at you, and you're a little more self-conscious. I feel like I've felt it in music over the last, you know, 10 or 12 years. When I started out, you were just throwing stuff out there; you had no idea what people thought. There would be a couple of record reviews, but you really were completely ignorant and unaware of what people actually thought. Unless you were at a show — you know, you could play a song and people didn't like it. That happened plenty of times."
Imagine that! Hearing something played live for the first time. Sure, you could boo the guy/gal, but as a human that's a little harder to do right to someone's face. You don't generally have somebody like EarlKrempe (see above) standing next to you on stage, arms folded, saying, "Did not like."
But see, I'm beginning to feel like the quintessential Olderish-Person-Who-Looks-Down-On-Younger-Generations. This is also not good. Because, clearly, not every musical appreciator is like that. YouTube-comments-as-societal-blueprint isn't exactly validated research. But what I do know is that music is laughably easy to find for free, chew for a bit, skip that song you don't like, write about how it wasn't what you wanted, pretend like you know exactly what the artist was trying to achieve, then spit on the floor having digested very little.
One of my band-mates in a new song talks about how instant evaluation is starting to crush his enjoyment of different types of art, and I could not agree more. It seems simple to just ignore it all, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to do as more and more folks use the Internet as a way of finding their own voice. Remember in high school how it kind of sucked and made you feel empty when everybody started loving that band you'd been following for forever? It's similar to the feeling you get when somebody tells you whatever book or movie they just devoured was the best thing ever. Your brain is instantly setup to have its expectations swung at and missed, because no one thing is the best thing ever, which transitions nicely into my next thought:
The overabundance of particular types of media might be leading a certain percentage of the population to believe that their lives aren't as worthwhile if they are not cinematic enough**, if certain moments aren't "the best thing ever." It makes people take fewer risks and retreat into what they already know they'll enjoy or, worse, what they know everybody else already enjoys. And because everybody's so keen on expressing why they love or hate something, there's all this media catering to extreme points of view, which this feller thinks tends to drown out that fertile middle ground where you can actually learn something.
Here's some quick examples: Bad Internet [note: please don't read much of this] vs. Good Internet [please read all of this]
So, if you're like me you're probably wondering what the hell to do. Unfortunately, if you know me at all you probably know I'm not entirely sure. All I can do is point you in the direction of folks I've enjoyed and who've made me think about how to handle things that make me uncomfortable. On the surface, these quotes don't directly pertain to media consumption, but I think they offer a path away from extreme points of view (and thus away from a lot of bad media), and I often find myself returning to them:
"Try to learn to let what is unfair teach you. What is unfair can be a stern but invaluable teacher."
~David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
"To know one's own state is not a simple matter. One cannot look directly at one's own face with one's own eyes, for example. One has no choice but to look at one's reflection in the mirror. Through experience, we come to believe that the image is correct, but that is all."
~Haruki Murakami, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle
"Don't get set into one form; adapt it and build your own, and let it grow; be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless--like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle; you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend."
~Bruce Lee
Some of the things I take away from those quotes are: Don't be afraid to feel stupid, and be wary of folks pushing agendas that claim to have all the answers; Look for stuff that feels genuine to you (and remember that authenticity and originality don't necessarily go hand-in-hand, and that's OK); Little things are infinitely important.
And for the sake of all that is holy to you, please don't you dare listen to music via YouTube at anything less than 480p.
_________________________________________________________________________________
**This is something I want to think about a lot more in another post, and one thing that comes to mind is how often you'll hear the same song used across different movies/TV shows/commericials to generate emotion in a given scene, and then when something similar to that scene happens in your real life, but you don't have the music to go along with it, it might not have as strong an impact on you.
04 February 2014
Words that inspire a feeling of impending doom
"Is this ad relevant to you?"
"Art can be a slippery slope"
Pretty much anything involving the word "evoke"
"World music"
"Whether or not"
"Recommended for you"
"An Open Letter to..."
"I'm sorry, but..."
"MFW/MRW"
"Retweet"
"That awkward moment" [oh god, this is a movie]
Music described as "lush" and "sprawling"
"An air of sophistication"
Alright that's probably enough doom for one day.
08 January 2014
Sure you do, pal. Suurrre you do.
Man, everybody's so smart on the Internet! It can be pretty daunting to even know what to write about sometimes. You don't have to search that deep and you can find basically any opinion on any topic, and of course a bunch of folks arguing about it all, sounding so sure of themselves.
What if you've never felt quite so sure about yourself? Or anything, for that matter. What do you write about? And where do you write about it? Is anyone interested in hiring a writer who has only questions and not answers? I have a few strong opinions, but not really too much drive to convince people of them, because I'm not entirely sure (ha) that type of stuff matters at all. I get confused by people who seem to spend a solid chunk of their lives working to convince others of their version of the Truth (which may not necessarily be bad. Though, don't a lot of those people seem to be pushing some kind of short-term agenda? It's very small numbers of these folks who appear to care about You.) So, let's say you convince enough people of your agenda, and then let's say you get some money, or time in the spotlight, or whatever the hell it is that you wanted. Then what? I'd guess that feels good for a while. But does it feel good enough? Isn't it way more exciting to want than to have? It feels like history has that pretty much proven solid. So, what do you want next after you got what you wanted?
I think I'd love it, for instance, if people listened to way less digital music and spent more time with what I think is a more fulfilling sound (records and tapes), but I don't have any desire to be the kind of guy who tells you what's best, because I really only know what's best for me, given 30 years of experience living inside this body and mind. I have yet to live inside someone else's body/brain, as far as I know. Even if I did honestly feel like I knew what was best for you, I'd rather you discovered it on your own anyway.
This seems to be turning into an exercise in writing whatever pops into my noggin.
I think what I wanted when I was younger was to tour in a rock band and write novels and stories, and my desires didn't really go much farther than that. So far I've done both of those to varying degrees of success, depending on your perspective. I consider myself truly lucky, so I'm a happy guy (I'm also in a fair amount of debt). When I think about it, I'm utterly overwhelmed by how many folks want to do these things that I love, by how much media gets created on an hourly basis. A lot of it's completely devoid of actual human feelings and just wants to be noticed, a lot of it is truly fantastic, and potentially the cream eventually rises to the top, but I am becoming less sure (here were are again) of that. I love what I'm creating, but it's hard to feel good about adding even more to the big ol' pile of creativity.
I don't enjoy self-promotion, though I still do it from time to time. It's a strange space to be in, wanting simultaneously to be noticed for things I've created and for everyone to just go away and leave me in my imagined writer's cabin (but please oh please come back and purchase my things so I can eat and pay off that debt!). And then there's the anxiety that my negative desire to self-promote could be interpreted by my friends and family as a fervent desire to keep them utterly in the dark about the things I've created. That's so far from the truth it's kind of funny, and somehow I doubt anyone I know believes that about me, but that's the thing about anxiety...it lies to you.
This post is a lot like most of the things I create in that it's purest intention is just to be something for me, and I'd usually tuck it away without posting. But I'm beginning to want to share all these thoughts, and share more of the stuff I've been creating for the last 10 years or so. Maybe in 2014 I'll actually share this novel I've been working on for so long. It could happen! Anyway, in the sharing spirit here's a couple tunes I was a part of that came out in 2013, and I am Quite proud to share them with ya'll.
What if you've never felt quite so sure about yourself? Or anything, for that matter. What do you write about? And where do you write about it? Is anyone interested in hiring a writer who has only questions and not answers? I have a few strong opinions, but not really too much drive to convince people of them, because I'm not entirely sure (ha) that type of stuff matters at all. I get confused by people who seem to spend a solid chunk of their lives working to convince others of their version of the Truth (which may not necessarily be bad. Though, don't a lot of those people seem to be pushing some kind of short-term agenda? It's very small numbers of these folks who appear to care about You.) So, let's say you convince enough people of your agenda, and then let's say you get some money, or time in the spotlight, or whatever the hell it is that you wanted. Then what? I'd guess that feels good for a while. But does it feel good enough? Isn't it way more exciting to want than to have? It feels like history has that pretty much proven solid. So, what do you want next after you got what you wanted?
I think I'd love it, for instance, if people listened to way less digital music and spent more time with what I think is a more fulfilling sound (records and tapes), but I don't have any desire to be the kind of guy who tells you what's best, because I really only know what's best for me, given 30 years of experience living inside this body and mind. I have yet to live inside someone else's body/brain, as far as I know. Even if I did honestly feel like I knew what was best for you, I'd rather you discovered it on your own anyway.
This seems to be turning into an exercise in writing whatever pops into my noggin.
I think what I wanted when I was younger was to tour in a rock band and write novels and stories, and my desires didn't really go much farther than that. So far I've done both of those to varying degrees of success, depending on your perspective. I consider myself truly lucky, so I'm a happy guy (I'm also in a fair amount of debt). When I think about it, I'm utterly overwhelmed by how many folks want to do these things that I love, by how much media gets created on an hourly basis. A lot of it's completely devoid of actual human feelings and just wants to be noticed, a lot of it is truly fantastic, and potentially the cream eventually rises to the top, but I am becoming less sure (here were are again) of that. I love what I'm creating, but it's hard to feel good about adding even more to the big ol' pile of creativity.
I don't enjoy self-promotion, though I still do it from time to time. It's a strange space to be in, wanting simultaneously to be noticed for things I've created and for everyone to just go away and leave me in my imagined writer's cabin (but please oh please come back and purchase my things so I can eat and pay off that debt!). And then there's the anxiety that my negative desire to self-promote could be interpreted by my friends and family as a fervent desire to keep them utterly in the dark about the things I've created. That's so far from the truth it's kind of funny, and somehow I doubt anyone I know believes that about me, but that's the thing about anxiety...it lies to you.
This post is a lot like most of the things I create in that it's purest intention is just to be something for me, and I'd usually tuck it away without posting. But I'm beginning to want to share all these thoughts, and share more of the stuff I've been creating for the last 10 years or so. Maybe in 2014 I'll actually share this novel I've been working on for so long. It could happen! Anyway, in the sharing spirit here's a couple tunes I was a part of that came out in 2013, and I am Quite proud to share them with ya'll.
06 December 2013
MoneyMoneyMoney...I'm Bored
Ahh, music & money. I love it when these two things mix and everyone gets all InternetIndignant. There's this latest article about Spotify that folks are talking about, and it's the same ol' stuff about how the artist gets screwed. The artist sure does get completely man-handled, but I'd be very excited for someone to point me to a time in the history of our world where the majority of artists weren't entirely bonked over the head financially. Maybe this time exists; I have not found it.
I'm only 30 years old and I feel like people have been talking about this forever. 'Member this wonderful article Steve Albini wrote in the 90s about how major labels were totally ravaging most of the bands they signed?
Here's the thing: 99 times out of 100, if you are becoming an artist--more specifically a musician because that's what I can speak to--if you are doing this to make decent sums of money you are borderline insane. I am already skeptical of you. I can smell it in what you create and, 99 times of out 100, your stuff is either trite or it's manipulative in all the wrong ways. It's not you. My band-mates and I last night were talking about Jon Brion, and how somebody somewhere asked him what he looks for in an artist he's hoping to work with; his answer was something along the lines of: I look for folks who aren't trying to be artists. [UPDATE, here's the video with his thoughts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnhbHFgagIM; merci, MrJonBraun]
Speaking of Jon Brion, this is a really wonderful AV Club interview with him.
Is it frustrating that in 10 years of playing and recording music I haven't made a dime? Sure. But do I actually care and am I going to use that as a reason to stop doing it? I'm laughing at that. I'm not in this shit to be "noticed", to have people incessantly Googling my name, to be on the covers of magazines that won't exist in 10 years, to be blogged about by who-even-cares-who. Would that be neat? Hell yes, I am a human being after all. But if that's your main reason for doing this stuff, you are setting yourself up for utter failure and a lifetime of bullshit. Also, we can spot you from a million miles away. You may even get what you want, score that sweet hit Thing, and maybe even McDonald's will help promote your music! Maybe that's what you truly want (??)... even if you do, it's just not going to last very long and you still won't make much money off it.
Here's a big, cold spoon of truth from that Jon Brion interview up there:
"For every Radiohead, there's 10,000 supposedly modern rock bands who aren't a tenth that creative, or a tenth that emotional. For every Elliott Smith, there are 10,000 people who think they're sensitive poets. For every 10,000 people who have a drum machine and run things through a filter box, there's an Aphex Twin."
I'm already an incredibly lucky person in that I've never truly worried about money, not in the way that people quite literally scrapping by are. Thanks to my parents, and their parents before them, I have a great education, and the even more empowering knowledge that, whatever I think I know, I don't actually know shit.
One of the few things I'm fairly certain I know is how icky it makes me feel that phrases like "you have to market yourself" have leaked into modern vernacular, masked as sage wisdom for how any artist ought to go about presenting themselves. Don't just be you, be the You calculated to generate the most page-views! Awesome.
I make songs and write stories because it feels so good to do it. It gives me Life. It makes me think and feel ways about stuff.
All this talk about money & artists just bores the hell out of me. Feel free to have that discussion, but my eyes will glaze over and I'll eventually melt into a wall. If you need me, I'll be in your basement writing a song or a story about that dusty old 1970s Fisher-Price toy castle you've got down there, or something.
I'm only 30 years old and I feel like people have been talking about this forever. 'Member this wonderful article Steve Albini wrote in the 90s about how major labels were totally ravaging most of the bands they signed?
 |
| Ben "Ziggy" Franklin by Sergio Rodriguez, via MakeYourFranklin.com |
Here's the thing: 99 times out of 100, if you are becoming an artist--more specifically a musician because that's what I can speak to--if you are doing this to make decent sums of money you are borderline insane. I am already skeptical of you. I can smell it in what you create and, 99 times of out 100, your stuff is either trite or it's manipulative in all the wrong ways. It's not you. My band-mates and I last night were talking about Jon Brion, and how somebody somewhere asked him what he looks for in an artist he's hoping to work with; his answer was something along the lines of: I look for folks who aren't trying to be artists. [UPDATE, here's the video with his thoughts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnhbHFgagIM; merci, MrJonBraun]
Speaking of Jon Brion, this is a really wonderful AV Club interview with him.
Is it frustrating that in 10 years of playing and recording music I haven't made a dime? Sure. But do I actually care and am I going to use that as a reason to stop doing it? I'm laughing at that. I'm not in this shit to be "noticed", to have people incessantly Googling my name, to be on the covers of magazines that won't exist in 10 years, to be blogged about by who-even-cares-who. Would that be neat? Hell yes, I am a human being after all. But if that's your main reason for doing this stuff, you are setting yourself up for utter failure and a lifetime of bullshit. Also, we can spot you from a million miles away. You may even get what you want, score that sweet hit Thing, and maybe even McDonald's will help promote your music! Maybe that's what you truly want (??)... even if you do, it's just not going to last very long and you still won't make much money off it.
Here's a big, cold spoon of truth from that Jon Brion interview up there:
"For every Radiohead, there's 10,000 supposedly modern rock bands who aren't a tenth that creative, or a tenth that emotional. For every Elliott Smith, there are 10,000 people who think they're sensitive poets. For every 10,000 people who have a drum machine and run things through a filter box, there's an Aphex Twin."
I'm already an incredibly lucky person in that I've never truly worried about money, not in the way that people quite literally scrapping by are. Thanks to my parents, and their parents before them, I have a great education, and the even more empowering knowledge that, whatever I think I know, I don't actually know shit.
One of the few things I'm fairly certain I know is how icky it makes me feel that phrases like "you have to market yourself" have leaked into modern vernacular, masked as sage wisdom for how any artist ought to go about presenting themselves. Don't just be you, be the You calculated to generate the most page-views! Awesome.
I make songs and write stories because it feels so good to do it. It gives me Life. It makes me think and feel ways about stuff.
All this talk about money & artists just bores the hell out of me. Feel free to have that discussion, but my eyes will glaze over and I'll eventually melt into a wall. If you need me, I'll be in your basement writing a song or a story about that dusty old 1970s Fisher-Price toy castle you've got down there, or something.
21 November 2013
Conspiracies abound/Love is everywhere/Germs, too
I've also been diving into JFK assassination conspiracy theory vortices, along with reading articles about how the mind is pretty easily capable of creating false memories, so sometimes I start to feel like the little kid they call "Postal Weight" in Infinite Jest who's just wailing in the locker room, "NOTHING'S TRUE" and has to get comforted by Pemulis.
The novel I'm working on has a lot to do with memory, nostalgia, sentimentality...all that good stuff. I think I'm attacking it pretty well, but really who knows. Then I found another author I love who had a character say some really lovely stuff that hit home, and thought I'd share:
"Perhaps history this century...is rippled with gathers in its fabric such that if we are situated...at the bottom of a fold, it's impossible to determine warp, woof or pattern anywhere else. By virtue, however, of existing in one gather it is assumed there are others, compartmented off into sinuous cycles each of which comes to assume greater importance than the weave itself and destroys any continuity. Thus it is that we are charmed by the funny-looking automobiles of the '30s, the curious fashions of the '20s, the peculiar moral habits of our grandparents. We produce and attend musical comedies about them and are conned into a false memory, a phony nostalgia about what they were. We are accordingly lost to any sense of a continuous tradition. Perhaps if we lived on a crest, things would be different. We could at least see."
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